The main reason why you don’t reach a goal when communicating by email

The main reason why you don’t reach a goal when communicating by email


Communicating by email can be frustrating at times. You contact someone and you don’t get the expected response or even take the time to respond.

I notice it increases every time this happens. The anger you feel when someone who is supposed to answer an important email and doesn’t. Right now I’m trying to do this exercise:

  • The email is more relevant to you than to the person. The receiver is not aware of it because you have not told them about it.
  • The person was planning to answer you but simply forgot to do so.
  • You may also have been on sick leave and have not had the opportunity to read or respond to your emails.

Most people can still resend a reminder once using a soft tone in the email, but after the third email they lose control. They clearly express their anger at being ignored until then.

While in Coguan, I had a personal challenge trying to contact the CEO of the largest blos network in Spain at the time. I had met him at an event and we agreed that I would contact him to see if our companies could collaborate.

It took me seven emails to get a response but in the end I got it. It was clear to me that there was no interest on his part in collaborating with me but it was already a matter of pride to receive this “no” that I deserved in writing. Maybe it was a waste of time and I should have given up sooner, but the satisfaction of finally getting an email with your response was overwhelming.

At no time did I get angry. Obviously, it bothered me that he didn’t take the time to answer me since that’s what we had commented on in the conversation. It also teaches you another important lesson. What people say is not necessarily what they do, although you may have done this learning more than once in first person.

I am also on the other site. Someone contacts me to offer me a link exchange or a guest post on my blog. I am not at all interested and I am not responding. If someone doesn’t take the time to analyze the times I have guest authors on my blog (three in eleven years), then I don’t have to to respond either. Many times I get a follow-up email where the anger at not responding is very noticeable. The only effect this has on me is to be confirmed. If someone follows me multiple times keeping the forms and is respectful, I end up responding.

In summary: The main reason you are not receiving a response is that you are losing your patience. No one is obligated to respond to an e-mail. Even if you are the customer, you earn more by being nice even if you don’t feel like it. This is what I have to do with my notary in Germany, who takes an average of three emails and two calls to answer me, but ultimately they still do.

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